Fall 2023 Etiquette Publications
LET’S TALK PART 2: COMMUNICATION WITHOUT BEING DEFENSIVE AND HAVING MORE COMPASSION TOWARDS A PERSON!
While this movement for change has become very overwhelming and powerful, it comes with much responsibility as to how we relate and treat one another with respect and dignity, while making sure that our opinions, views, and facts are heard and not overlooked. With that said, it seems these days that people must take a side or else there will be grave consequences for not doing so.
Just to put it bluntly! People just forgot how to communicate and to be more considerate and compassionate at the same time. Plus, technology has not helped our society to communicate better, except having a sense of entitlement and being more judgmental to react quicker more THAN EVER. A few years ago, I wrote a publication on communication, and I felt it was time again to discuss how to have a decent conversation with a person more THAN EVER today.
Before I begin this discussion, I want to put an emphasis on some of my most recent experiences that would make your heads turn, while not being that surprised nor shocked of how the times have changed (shaking my head as I write my thoughts out). Here are my most recent experiences….
• In August 2023, I decided to go to this local Italian restaurant in my hometown. I loved to go there to enjoy a nice meal with a glass of Chianti wine. While I was there, I placed my order and waited over 30-45 minutes to receive it. Now, I did get my wine, but on the stem of the glass it had a person’s hair on it. I know, I sent it back. While I got a new glass of wine, I later asked when my meal will come out.
On a side note, I was there to eat at the restaurant. However, the waiter brought out my meal all wrapped up in a paper bag. I looked at the waiter and asked why, while mentioning that I ordered something to eat at the restaurant. The waiter had a blank face.
After that, I asked for the check. When I got it, it had an unexplainable charge on it. When I inquired about it, the waiter said so bluntly, my manager is not going to take it off the bill, so don’t ask. I was shocked when the waiter said it. At the end, the experience left me in disbelief because there was so much miscommunication and rudeness that this person had towards me. I never went back there again. Also, the management changed, and the place has gone downhill since then, which is a shame.
• In September 2023, I had a source (the messenger) that messaged me from FB messenger to announce a person’s death. The way the messenger came across felt very blunt and matter of fact without compassion nor respect towards me that was receiving the message. The person that died was a close friend of mine (he was like a brother), who took his with suicide.
First, when I received the information from the messenger, I thought it was a joke because I was sent an article and podcasts on my friend’s death. Apparently, it was the real deal. I had to read the article and listen to those podcasts to find out my friend’s death. I went into emotional shock for the loss of my friend. It was so confusing and complicated as to why he died, which I will not elaborate on.
It took me over a month to grieve and come to terms of his death. Before he passed, I talked with him two weeks prior, and he was in a happy place in his life. I wished he would have come to me sooner. It’s just a long story. However, the messenger thought there was humor to make fun of my friend’s death and tried to solicit and exploit me to give out more information on my friend.
At the end, NEVER EVER tell a person (who is close to a friend, relative, or coworker etc.) that another person committed suicide over FB messenger. Plus, NEVER EVER be without compassion when explaining a death of a person to another. If you are going to be heartless, don’t bother announcing any news for a reaction or to cause drama because you don’t care. Just remember, karma will hit your ass later.
• In October 2023, I went to a home good store (without giving out any store names) to get a few items for my new home. When I was ready to check out, there were a few of us in line where we saw this female manager coming up towards a register which we thought she was going to help us out.
Surprisedly, she looked at us in the line and started to complain about her job and not wanting to be here. After complaining, she turned around and walked away. We were shocked by her professional behavior. As time went on, she came back to help, but with an incredibly, nervous demeanor.
When she got to me, I had two items to check out. One of my items was not scanning properly, so the manager decided to manually type it in the register. However, she turned to me and wanted me to read out the numbers on the barcode. I said that is okay, and I won’t get the item. Bottom line, she heavily insisted that I read the barcode. For me, I went silent, but mentioned to her that her tone was making me feel nervous around her. At the end, I bought my items and left the store with a headache.
With these incidents, it shows a lot of miscommunications and inconsistent behavior of not treating a person (like myself) with any respect, dignity, nor compassion. Currently, there are more people in our world that are resorting to dehumanizing others because of their inflated egos and lack of empathy. Ever since we came out of the pandemic, people haven’t found their footing back into society.
Everyone is more reactive and easily triggered to start an argument, be ignorant or more dramatic, and cave to chaotic energies on a whim to be just heard or just to make a statement that carries severe consequences. Today, people don't know how to have “thick skin” anymore (an ability to keep from getting upset or offended by the things other people say and do) nor be empathic towards others. Words are like swords. Don’t forget that. Plus, there’s so much a human being can take from negative behavior when communicating in a defensive manner. So, what can we do to change the tone of having a decent conversation, especially today without being silent or being put down, just because? To have a decent conversation with a person close to you (even with a stranger), here are some simple reminders that I will share again and, add some extra two cents from me….
Letting go of the EGO and being SECURE in who you are: Nothing wrong with self-confidence, which comes with some practice. Being secure in your own skin is healthy. To be secure within yourself, you must let go of ego and realize you are not perfect. Also, being secure, you will be less likely to get defensive or hurt over something that means a lot to you. Plus, you become more flexible when dealing with people.
Being confident helps with harsh criticisms, broken promises, or miscommunications. You will be less likely to jump to conclusions and to calmly talk things out. Overall, the world is never going to agree with you entirely, especially when you see things differently with right and wrong.
Learn to LISTEN and STOP retaliating in conversations: This goes back to my concept of compassionately listening and responding. Better to listen than to keep talking. It gives you a clue to how people perceive you and how you make them feel heard and important. If you have a different opinion than someone, just listen to what is being said, you never know if there is valuable information that can be beneficial in the future. Even if you are wrong about something, just take the opportunity to explain yourself without getting defensive. Having a conversation is a two-way street if you think about it.
It is OKAY to use the “I” statements: Using “I” in your conversations is healthy. Do not let people tell you differently. When you get defensive in a conversation, it is wise to use “I,” so it allows you to stay focused on your feelings and prevent unfair accusations. Plus, it gives people an open window to comprehend your emotions better.
Think LONG-TERM in your emotions: Let’s be careful of not being impulsive in conversations. There are those sayings, “Think before you talk,” or “Think before you act.” In a debate, take a deep breath and give yourself some space to pay close attention to your emotions and how you choose your responses with people. “Don't put your foot in your mouth,” with your emotions in the moment. Do not be quick to judge others. Never be the one to “Cast the first stone.” It doesn’t have to be ugly without compromising yourself. However, overall, your emotions can have a lasting effect. Emotions can help or deter people’s thinking. Always be mindful of the influence that your emotions have over others.
Learn to RECEIVE criticism: Ever had moments where you received harsh criticism when you did not want it? Receiving criticism is never an easy task. Again, we are human, and we try to find fault with everything. When people give negative feedback, just take the time to listen and observe. Ask why they feel the way they do. Information is knowledge. Knowledge is power. It is wiser to learn to be the bigger person with people and know when to walk away. It is better to take a situation from being negative and turning it into something positive.
Admitting that you were WRONG: No one can be right all the time. When debating with people, it is always good to give yourself and others permission to be wrong and being more accepting of not getting everything right. It is not failure, except an opportunity to learn and grow.
Being more COMPASSIONATE, CONSIDERATE, and CONSISTENT with your words and how you use them: When you have any conversation with a person, be mindful of how your words come across. People do hear, see, and feel. There's also a saying, "It's not what you say, but it's how you say it and make the other person feel." Plus, people don't forget words and actions. Most importantly, it doesn’t matter if a person is your relative, friend, co-worker, or a stranger, be mindful of your audience. Coming across with malice, hate, or bad humor, along with being apathetic, or just purely ignorant and disconnected from another person’s feelings is no excuse; even though, people do it more often today without any accountability. It is like people see things as one-sided. There are no more filters, boundaries, or manners since we came out of the pandemic. We lost it all from my observations as an etiquette expert and life coach.
Plus, social media has partially destroyed our awareness in our physical and digital realities of how to treat a human properly. Interestingly, when you want to be heard, you would want compassion, consideration, and consistency from another person on the receiving end to relate positively towards you. We have lost the art of how to relate better as humans. However, I’m still hoping for humanity to awaken and start seeing their ways before the trend of bad communication continues to harm the fabric of our societies. Plus, I advocate for our children to take communication (for interpersonal/intrapersonal skills and professional development) classes while in middle/high schools and colleges, especially as we prepare our youth to enter the world as we know it today.
Lastly, I highly recommend this motivating book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey on how to relate better to others while building healthy, positive habits to use in your personal and professional lives. It’s a must read, so check it out. You will not be disappointed.
AGAIN, AGAIN, & AGAIN, (three times a charm) communication is a two-way street. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it comes down to making the best effort to relate while having harmony between others. At the end, everyone wants to be heard. It is all about having balance in your conversations without getting defensive, while exhibiting compassion towards others. Also, it comes down to being a community again. Don’t forget a little extra patience and consideration goes a long way. NOW, LET'S TALK!
The Golden Sea of Life
Why? Here is the key you must remember throughout your days. It is God’s way of knowing what it is like to be a person in the physical world–all of it, since The Presence (God’s highest form) cannot walk in this reality like you can with a form that has the power to collapse space and time in a blink of an eye. Therefore, when you see why you are here and having all these desires, you are realizing with all your senses that God has a desire too. You are on an incredible quest to fulfill the longing to experience all the richness of life’s ups and downs, either in a graceful fashion or in a chaotic, perplexing world of mazes you designed.
Now, let me introduce you to the Universe’s Golden Sea of Life. After reading my article today, you will have a clearer vision of why there is more than enough to go around, including you. When people go out and steal from others, it is pure ignorance, not to mention signs of a younger Soul. This Golden Sea of Life is not what you think. You have a metaphysical veil over your eyes. You can’t see other realities with you in it. There are hundreds of other realities going on at this moment with you being poor, wealthy, somewhere in between, dying from a disease, never married, a princess of a kingdom, a monk living in the mountains, or a farmer raising chickens and pigs.
To the eyes of God, these realities are gorgeous. All these stories that you are writing are unbelievably inspirational, superbly scribed with a sense of adventure, action, style, passion, love, death, honor, and drama that can bring smiles in an instant but also tears raining down an innocent face without question. It is indeed a sea of life, a library of human experience and some not so human, stretching way beyond what the eyes can see. And I am only talking about one person, just imagine the number of lives cascading throughout the Universe in time and places without time.
I am going to clue you in on the key to life to becoming successful in fulfilling your desires of abundance in all things. That means superior health, no longer worries of money, and happiness in love that is a crucial part of you. After all, you want to make God happy, right? It doesn’t matter because agreeing to be human is happiness for everyone throughout the cosmos. I just gave you the key without you realizing it. That is joy and happiness. I will show you why in a moment.
Here is another thing you must know. Going with the sea of life explanation earlier, everything that has been written or created already exists right now (time is an illusion). There is nothing new under the sun. So, there is a reality that exists concurrently with you having great bounties of wealth, whether it be love or money. Using the Law of Vibration, your happiness attracts this reality into your life. Every day, different layers of realities merge all the time in people’s lives based on their thoughts, actions, reactions, and emotions. This is one of the reasons why mastering your mind is supremely important.
So, at this minute and forthcoming days, be happier than you have ever been because you have reached great prosperity in your life. Yes, you must live in the result of becoming the person you desire to be. Then, the parallel reality that is reflective of your state of mind will become real. Remember that you are living in the Mind of God. Everything that you can imagine already exists. You have this desire and thoughts of success flow through your mind because it was put there for the reasons I discussed earlier. Once you are in this joyful mindset, live your life as if it has already happened. Why would you be unhappy if it were already in your life? When you are inspired to do so, go take that action because it is your Godly Soul telling you it’s part of your journey to incredible abundance that you delightfully deserve.
Summer 2023 Etiquette Publications
Manners are Stylish!
Here are some examples of how manners affect us…. Manners show awareness: Good or bad manners talk volumes about you and your upbringing. Overall, manners show politeness and demonstrate an awareness of self-worth, respect for others, and a desire to fit in. You only have seconds to make a good impression when meeting a person for the first time. Just keep it simple while making it positive. Remember to have a firm handshake, give your undivided attention, look him or her in the eye when you’re speaking, and listen till they’re finished before responding.
Giving yourself and exhibiting trustworthiness: Manners shift the attention from you toward others, while showing gratitude, displaying respect, and demonstrating kindness. It is also a strong indication of how you’ll behave in the future, especially if you’re dependable, reliable, and selfless. These are critical elements in building trust in our personal and business relationships.
Setting an example today: Again, manners can set you apart from the crowd. It also can be an important factor in achieving success and respect. If you’re a parent, teacher, coach, religious leader, or manager, you influence people every day with a conscious effort to be a good role model. Most importantly, we need more role models to not be afraid to make a positive difference, especially with today’s youth.
Here is another important reminder: When it comes to good manners, it can manifest in small and large actions that create rewards and recognition. But certain manners can also make or break crucial relationships and be the difference between harmony and conflict at home, at work, or even between countries and cultures on the world stage. Always remember that manners are actions with positive or negative effects, which can have long-lasting results in people's lives. With that said, it comes down to accountability for them, too.
Manners and Mindfulness….
Manners can create a certain mindfulness, while achieving peace within yourself and others around you. When we exhibit manners, we show empathy towards others. Empathy is another important building block for having healthy relationships and treating others with kindness, along with being able to understand how someone feels and having a spirit of generosity.
Meditation can be a great training tool for mindfulness, especially when you expand to become more compassionate. When you meditate, you practice being more present in the moment and then develop the ability to use these skills in our day-to-day lives, and that's living mindfully with good will first onto ourselves, and then to others. With meditation, it also helps with letting go of any judgment and hostility.
Please check out this guided meditation, “Healing Insights On Holding Space & Healthy Boundaries!” to help with your mindfulness to learn how to hold space for yourself and others while creating healthy boundaries.
With manners, it creates stronger backbones in our character and well-being of who we are to thrive in a society. Remember not to forget we are all interconnected, especially on an individual and social level. At the end, manners bring a higher awareness of empathy and the understanding of how others relate.
Manners are stylish! They can be the bridge to bring back peace and unity within all of us. Plus, it doesn’t matter what fork you use either. Emily Post understood this concept. Can we? Blessings with love and light!
Simple Reminders to stay strong in today's world!
So, here are some examples of mental toughness with a nurturing twist…. • Accepting that some situations are beyond your control, it’s how you respond.
• Allowing yourself time to grieve and feel all the feelings. It is important to make sure to have that support from others while giving yourself that time to heal and have a soundboard. • Never be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes, we need others to help us along our paths and learn to be of community. Also, whenever possible, offer help to those in need in return. It’s about learning the balance of giving and receiving with healthy boundaries.
• Taking joy where life offers it. You have to learn how to give back to yourself with self-love and compassion.
• Reframing your negative thoughts. Learning to train your mind to work through emotions that hold you down with certain resources and skills that work for you.
• Learning from the past, living in the moment, and preparing for the future. Here are some ideas to help you become more resilient…. Having faith in a higher power and yourself: Every problem that comes in front of you makes you realize that you have the skill, talent, and ability to come out of it. Well, we like to believe in that. However, you can be in a fog and don’t know how or where to turn. Sometimes, you do need that higher power of believing in God/the universe/or whatever makes you stronger with some faith, hope, and trust.
Also, you cannot forget to believe in yourself as well because you uncover your true potential. To believe in YOU is a blessing in disguise, and that nothing is permanent in life. You train your mind that having tough times will pass with patience and positivity. One thing at a time.
Broadening your perspective and becoming detached from negativity: Life is a combination of good times and tough times, and of happiness and pain. Remember that though pain is inevitable; suffering is optional. Life gives you the strength to move forward through painful times. Remember you are very much needed in this world. Again, YOU and your life is a gift, for it can become a fountain of joy and happiness not just for yourself but for many others, as well.
Also, remember with any setback in life, you get to choose to come out stronger (most times). Just remember that's it's not all about you. Don't take things personally or waste time wondering, “Why me?” Don’t get in self-pity traps. Instead, focus on what you can control. Again, whatever you cannot control, it’s how you respond to life situations around you. Most importantly, if it’s out of your hands, it deserves freedom from your mind, too.
Nothing wrong with smiling and laughing: The strength of a smile helps uplift adverse situations. Think about it! When life is good, you smile. If you can smile through any situation or event, it’s a sign of maturity, strength, and intelligence. Also, if you don’t feel like smiling, just fake it until you make it. Smiling makes you relax and feel more confident within you.
Now, let’s talk about laughing. When times get tough, it’s the best time to laugh or find something to laugh about. Humor is the best medicine for all, even when you don’t want to laugh at something. Laughing helps our emotional state, but also our physical and spiritual being. Mentally tough people believe that happiness is a state of mind. They consciously practice being happy and know it is up to them to make it happen.
Trying meditation and learning to breathe to let go: People need to understand that meditation is not a way of making your mind quiet but learning how to be more still and calm while listening to yourself (your intuition). Also, mental toughness is harnessing the power of silence to control our emotions, thoughts, and behavior in ways that will set us up for success and freedom. The silence space experienced by meditation is a form of intelligence and is one of the most empowering tools we can use to impact all areas in life. Also, learning how to practice breathing is a positive way to help circulate your energies and let go of any stresses, worries, or fears that are building up within you.
In addition, you can incorporate within any mediation by saying some spiritual prayers, affirmations, or chants to help you with what needs to be more focused in life, while practicing breathing to let go of what does not serve you and your higher purpose. Sometimes, we need to let go and let God in.
Here is an extra bonus, please check these meditations that I put together in my previous podcasts to inspire some sparkle back into your life, “Healing Insights on Holding Space and Healthy Boundaries,” “Pearls of Wisdom: Let's Love, Hope, and Sparkle,” and “Healing Your Shadows: Finding Peace & Love Within Yourself!”
Finally, mental toughness is a personality trait that determines your ability to perform consistently under stress and pressure, and is closely related to qualities such as character, resilience, grit, and perseverance. We all have them. Sometimes, we need to be more aware of them and learn how to activate or awaken them within ourselves. Today, it’s about STAYING STRONG during these tough times that we are experiencing; even though, we don’t have all the answers. It also comes down to living more in the moment and having some gratitude, especially as we process all of the current changes in our world. Lastly, don’t forget, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
Barbie is Everything!
Unless you have been living under a rock, then you know this summer has been all about Barbie. Recently, I went to see the Barbie Movie, and it was better than anything I imagined. And yes, I loved everything about it. Firstly, let me give you some background information on the creation of Barbie, and then you will have a reason to see the movie. Ruth Handler created Barbie after she saw her daughter playing with paper dolls that were fashioned after grown women. She wanted her daughter to have a doll that allowed her daughter to role play and envision herself as more than a mother and housewife. Barbara Millicent Roberts (Barbie) made her debut in 1959 with the company called Mattel, which Ruth co-founded with her husband Elliot. While there was much apprehension and concern over Barbie’s adult womanly physique, she quickly became the most popular toy, and stores couldn’t keep her on their shelves. Credited with going against the 1950’s gender roles, Barbie was able to be anything she wanted but Mattel did not make a version of Barbie that portrayed her as a mother; instead, the company created Babysitter Barbie in the late 60’s. It was important to Mattel that they kept to the initial reason for the creation of Barbie. In 1961, Barbie got her biggest accessory yet. It was Ken who was created to be Barbie’s boyfriend, but never husband because Barbie is a self-sufficient, independent, and happy woman. Over the years, Barbie has changed, and there are now, African American, Muslim, Hispanic, and other nationalities, along with being curvy and petite, having disabilities, and so much more to ensure the brand be inclusive. The message was truly clear when you watched the 2023 Barbie Movie, starring Margot Robbie, and Ryan Gosling. In the movie, several actresses played, diversified, and empowered into the different Barbie roles. Importantly, Issa Rae played President Barbie. You also see in Barbie Land; women overseeing the Supreme Court, especially, when Ana Cruz Kayne plays Supreme Court Justice Barbie. Amazingly, Hari Nef played Doctor Barbie, along with other wonderful actresses protraying other important roles. Unfortunately, this movie was not met without criticism, while many men were outraged at how the Kens were treated. The whole purpose of Barbie is to show girls that they can be anything they want to be in life. To me, it made sense that this movie portrayed that. I thought it was very clever how Greta Gerwig was able to slip in the current problems that women are still facing today. Lastly, there was a speech delivered by America Ferrera in the movie. She explained how it’s exhausting to be a woman because we must be so many things to be liked and accepted, and how men stereotypically treat women and put them in certain roles. What I really enjoyed about this movie was the message later seen when Ken has his mental realization that he is “Kenough,” and then how Barbie realizes being perfect isn’t always the best thing. Yes, the movie was girly, pink, and glittery, but really it's so much more, and the cast couldn’t have been more perfect. Cheers and let’s have a Barbie week.
Our DADs: as the world celebrates Father's Day!
The Sun Has Risen
As I woke up this morning, I saw the beams of light casting through the window behind my bed. I thought to myself, “Why is the Sun so reliable? Why does he keep life going every single day for over four billion years? Now that’s simply incredible. His warmth glows on my skin as though he is embracing me so softly; yet his power is supremely magnificent, my human brain can’t possibly comprehend the limits of his mighty authority over the ever-flourishing lives we have together on this most wondrous, beautiful day. It’s beautiful because our Sun has Risen once again.”
Hi, everyone. I greet you in the Name of God Almighty, the Name of the Most High. So, I say Namho Adish. I love the Sun as I love my Father who is in Heaven. Thereby, I love my father on Earth who embodies the micro version of all there is in the Universe.
Do you hear it? Do you hear the birds chirping, the wind blowing and caressing the flowers skyward and the people rising from their slumber to begin their day just as the Sun is glowing above the clouds? It is the sound of love we can’t live without. It is the fatherly figure to protect, nurture, give us comfort, teach us, guide us, carry us on his shoulders when we need help, and bring us a life so abundant, we can’t help but be thankful more than words can say. He is so strong yet so tender. He can move mountains for us but can also clothe us with his thoughts and actions that make us feel like a warm, summer day. Though he symbolically and evanescently shifts away at night, we all collectively know that he is still there in the Heavens and will always return for his children, sharing the glory with the Moon, our lovely, sacred mother.
If you are a father or will become one someday, then let’s learn to rise every day like the Sun to match his supreme brilliance and reliability for our beloved children. Within your heart, there is a God Spark that has a paternal love that transcends time and space, even beyond this illusory imagination we call the Mind of God. Can you truly realize the significance of this splendor? This love I speak of goes from reading a bedtime story for your little one so that she can sleep like an innocent lamb and giving butterfly kisses on her forehead to teaching him about the evils of this world in a way that he respectfully comes back to you every time and showing him the ways of becoming like you–a divinely-inspired father.
Even when she becomes an adult, your love for her increases by the day. Being a father never ends, just like the Sun never, ever stops rising for us. You must cherish every single moment in life when she is with or away from you. You, being her father, will always remain in her heart no matter how close you are to being a perfect male figure or far from it. So therefore, you must be with her throughout all the peaceful times but most especially during the trials and tribulations of life, keeping her presence in your heart even if it is the end of the world. This is the true strength of a father, which is an undying, unwavering flame of love for your children just like the Rays of the Sun.
Happy Father’s Day on this most amazing, beautiful day, for our Sun has Risen.
Let's Be HAPPY: Habits of Happiness
How Does Skincare Work & Why Skin Type Matters
creating habits of forgiveness
Ever tried the 5 Steps to Forgiveness? Licensed clinical psychologist Everett L. Worthington Jr. and author of Five Steps to Forgiveness: The Art and Science of Forgiving developed these techniques called REACH Forgiveness Techniques for forgiving others in five steps. Let check them out…. “R = Recall the hurt. Make up your mind not to be nasty and hurtful in return, not to hold a grudge, not to treat yourself like a victim and not to treat your partner as a jerk. Decide to forgive — not pursuing payback but instead treating the person as a valuable person. E = Empathize with your partner. Pretend the other person is in an empty chair across from you. Pour your heart out. When you’ve had your say, sit in the chair, and talk back to the imaginary you as the other person might. This builds empathy. Even if you can’t empathize, you might feel more sympathy, compassion, or love, which may help you heal from hurt. A = Altruistic gift. Give forgiveness as an unselfish, altruistic gift — one that the offender does not deserve. We all can remember when we wronged someone — a parent, teacher or friend — and the person forgave us. We felt light and free. We didn’t want to disappoint that person by being hurtful again. By forgiving unselfishly, you can give that same gift to the one who hurt you. C = Commit. After you’ve forgiven, write a note to yourself — something as simple as “Today I forgave [person’s name] for hurting me.” That will help your forgiveness last. H = Hold on to forgiveness. We write such notes because we will almost surely be tempted to doubt that we really forgave. When we doubt our forgiveness, we can reread our note. We did forgive.” When it comes to forgiveness, it is the ultimate, first step towards restoring peace and hope with others and most importantly, within yourself. Forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional, and spiritual healing, which all you have to do is just REACH for it. Blessings with love and light.
Adapted from: Five Steps to Forgiveness: The Art and Science of Forgiving (2001), by Everett Worthington, Ph.D.
Let’s Get Walking!
Summertime is around the corner. It gives us the time to be more outdoors to explore or enjoy outside activities for fun. Whatever it may be, it gives up the opportunity to keep our energies circulating for good health reasons. Now, I would like to touch on how walking is a healthy choice to do more around the summer. With that said, if you are going to be outdoors more, please keep yourself hydrated, so you don’t overheat or get a heat stroke.
It is said that just 30 minutes every day can increase cardiovascular fitness, strengthen bones, reduce excess body fat, and boost muscle power and endurance. It can also reduce your risk of developing conditions such as heart disease, type 2 diabetes, osteoporosis, and some cancers. It also boosts your immune system. Walking can help protect you during cold and flu season. And if you did get sick, it was for a shorter duration, and the symptoms were milder. Here is another cool fact. Harvard researchers looked at 32 obesity-promoting genes in over 12,000 people in a study to determine how much these genes contribute to body weight. They discovered that people who walked briskly for about 30 minutes or an hour a day, the effects of those genes were cut in half. Walking also tames a sweet tooth. It has shown that walking curbs cravings for chocolate and even reduces the amount of chocolate you eat in stressful situations. I said earlier that walking reduces the risk of developing some cancers, especially with breast cancer. There was an American Cancer Society study that zeroed in on walking which found that women who walked seven or more hours a week had a 14% lower risk of breast cancer than those who walked three hours or fewer per week. And walking provided this protection even for the women with breast cancer risk factors, such as being overweight or using supplemental hormones. It eases joint pain. Several studies have found that walking reduces arthritis-related pain, and that walking five to six miles a week can even prevent arthritis from forming in the first place. Walking protects the joints, especially the knees and hips, which are most susceptible to osteoarthritis by lubricating them and strengthening the muscles that support them. And yes, walking helps with the delay of the onset of varicose veins. Lastly, walking can improve your mood, boost your brainpower, enhance creativity, live longer, and of course, reduce stress. Walking has so many positive benefits, which are amazing and not hard to incorporate into our daily routine. So, let’s get walking and feeling our best this summer. Blessings with love and light.
Spring 2023 Etiquette Publications!
April & May Etiquette Publications
happy Mother's day: How to pamper our mothers!
When it comes to our mothers in the world, they are the glue for our families and communities to remain strong and kept together. For those who are not mothers, but contribute love and guidance in unique ways, we honor you, as well. From working full-time jobs, being mothers or nurturing mentors, pursuing education and their dreams, owning businesses, making important discoveries and advancements in religion, science, art, and writing, along with caring for the elderly, fighting wars, and governing countries, we all can say that women play a major part of being the backbones of bringing peace and balance back into this world. With our mothers, there are different ways where we can honor them. I always say it is about pampering them on Mother’s Day or maybe for the entire month of May. However, there’s nothing wrong with celebrating and honoring your mother (who is a queen in her own right) all into May. So, here are my unique suggestions for honoring our mothers…. Pamper Her As A Queen: Sometimes, our mothers need a day to rejuvenate their inner beauty and relieve unnecessary worries and stresses. Book a spa session at a nearby salon. Get a spa package that offers a relaxing massage, refreshing facial, pedicure, and manicure or a gift certificate so she can choose a service for herself. This makes the perfect gift to pamper your mom as a queen. Plus, it gives her much-needed ME-TIME and makes her glow like a movie star.
Showtime-Trip To The Theatre: Take your mom to see a show at your local performing arts center. Every venue has a variety of performances, from bands to plays. Surprise her with a special evening at the theatre. This will add sparkles to her eyes. Want A Spot Of Tea-Afternoon Tea: Give your mother a reason to dress up in her Sunday best for an afternoon tea party, along with the excuse to pull out fabulous hats to wear for the special occasion. Take her somewhere where they serve afternoon high tea with a variety of different teas in dainty teacups, along with finger sandwiches, assorted pastries, and fresh flowers. Also, you can have a tea party at your home, which makes it more of a personal touch and special moment with your mom. You also could have the tea party outside of your home during very nice weather to enjoy spring or summer fresh air. Memory Book For Mom: Create a personalized memory book for your mom. You can create a digital book online that can be printed in a professional format or go old-school scrapbook style. Try to include photos from her childhood, grandkids, friends and family, or even little stories from her past. This would be a lifetime keepsake for her to share with everyone. Starting A New Tradition With Mom: Instead of breakfast in bed, flowers, and brunch, surprise your mom with an unexpected road trip together to make memories. Maybe do a beach trip or bed and breakfast for two. Make sure she doesn’t have to work harder and worry more because of the trip. Also, there are other ways to create a new tradition that can be doing a painting class, going for a picnic, or experiencing a wine tasting together. Get as creative as you want for your mother, especially when it comes from the heart. When it comes to pampering our mothers, they deserve our unconditional love, honor, and respect, along with plenty of sparkle to brighten their Mother’s Day and all into May. Remember, our mothers are queens and know how to wear their crowns with much love and light. Happy Mother's Day!
Celebrating Mother's Day around the world!
Last year, I talked about the history of how Mother’s Day became an official holiday and a tradition which was later celebrated on the second Sunday in May. Here a small recap of how Mother’s Day became a holiday honoring motherhood that is observed in different forms throughout the world. In the United States, Mother’s Day 2023 will occur on Sunday, May 14th. The American incarnation of Mother’s Day was created by Anna Jarvis in 1908 and became an official U.S. holiday in 1914. Jarvis would later denounce the holiday’s commercialization and spent the latter part of her life trying to remove it from the calendar. While dates and celebrations vary, Mother’s Day traditionally involves presenting moms with flowers, cards and other gifts. However, when it comes to celebrating Mother’s Day around the world, there are unique customs in different countries, so let’s discover some of them… Italy-La Festa della Mamma:Mother’s day is known as La Festa della Mamma in Italy. Italian mamma is the most important person in the house. She is kind of celebrated throughout the year. But on Mother’s Day, she is definitely pampered and appreciated more. La Festa della Mamma is celebrated on the second Sunday of every May. Celebrations are simple. Family members try to get together and indulge their moms. If you cannot get home, you have to call. Small gifts, fresh flowers (often roses), and handwritten poetry are common. Cards are not that common in Italy. Mother’s day ends with a dessert, mostly a cake in the heart shape!
France-Medals For Mom:In 1920, the government of France began awarding medals to mothers of large families in gratitude for helping rebuild the population after so many lives were lost in World War I. After World War II, the government declared the last Sunday in May to be the Day of Mothers. The traditional gift is now a flower-shaped cake. Arab World:Arab countries in both Asia and Africa celebrate Mother’s Day on the 21st of March, the first day of spring when Mother Earth herself comes to life. It started in Egypt when a journalist tried to promote the idea of a day honoring the mothers of the country. The idea was initially ridiculed because it was a western concept. But then, slowly, it got accepted and spread to other Arab countries including Bahrain, UAE, Oman, Kuwait, and Iraq. In the Arab world, this day celebrates not only biological mothers but every other motherly figure. That is why teachers at school receive a lot of Mother’s Day cards. At home, it is common for the children to kiss their mothers’ hands as a sign of love and affection. Mothers receive cards, flowers, and other presents. Grandmoms and mothers-in-law also receive gifts. It is also traditional for the family to dedicate a song (usually women-centric) to the mothers in the family. Ethiopia-Antrosht:Mother’s Day in Ethiopia is celebrated for 3 long days instead of just one. It begins on the second Sunday of May like in other countries. Mother’s Day is a massive celebration in Ethiopia with families indulging in feasts and gatherings. The celebration is called “Antrosht.” This usually consists of a dish called “hash” made of lamb/bull, vegetables, and butter and a traditional Ethiopian drink called the Ethiopian punch. As we celebrate Mother’s Day, here is a A Prayer for all Mothers… Thank you, Lord, that you fill a mother’s heart with love, That you have instilled in her very being the need to protect her children if at all possible, Thank you for giving her the gift of nurturing her children, of teaching them, of comforting them, for feeding them and making a safe place for them. For guiding them to be all that God has created them to be. Fill every mother with love, wisdom and endurance, with strength and patience and joy. Give them ability to forgive again and again. Enable her to rely on You and call upon You, because You will give her all she needs. In Your precious and all powerful name, Amen Blessings with love and light!
Collagen, The Beauty Industries Biggest Scam
3 Popular Ways to stimulate collagen production and gain a more youthful appearance.... The most popular and easiest way to stimulate your skin to produce more collagen, is by microneedling. This can be done by a professional at a spa, or at home. Most people opt to use the at home devices available such as a dermaroller or a microchannel stamp. Microneedling works by using a tool with tiny spiky cones that punctures the skin without leaving a mark or having any recovery down time. By using a microneedling device, and then using your serums and actives; you allow them to penetrate the epidermis more easily and in turn the ingredients of your products will be able to reach the lower layers of your skin. While you can buy a microneedling tool for at home use, having this procedure done by a professional will be more beneficial for skin aging because medical estheticians have access to different sizes microneedles.
The second most popular way to stimulate collagen and get a more youthful appearance is through (IPL) Intensive pulse light therapy. This procedure is much more associated with removing hyperpigmentation but depending on the strength, (IPL) can help to promote collagen growth in the skin. (IPL) is the more advanced light therapy procedure to its sister light therapy procedure (LED) Light Emitting Diode which is non-invasive just like (IPL). Light therapy services done by a professional can greatly improve the appearance of signs of aging, like wrinkles, fine lines, and redness. (IPL) can be either ablative, or non ablative; with the latter being more gentle. If you are looking to see results faster then I suggest getting an ablative (IPL) treatment done. Keep in mind that with either type you have to be patient to see results. (IPL) is not the same as laser therapy because it does not use lasers, and instead releases multiple wave lengths of light to cover a larger surface area, while Laser (LED) focuses on using one specific wavelength.
The conditions that each laser treatment can address differ because of the strength being used.
Ablative (Erbium Yag Laser)Acne scarringSun damageMild to moderate wrinklesHyperpigmentationNon-melanoma skin cancersNon-Ablative( Neodymium Yag Laser)Vascular reductionHair RemovalVascular birthmarksTattoo removalMild hyperpigmentation(IPL) Intense Pulse LightPost inflammatory acne scarsBirthmarksHyperpigmentationSpider veinsRosaceaSun damageMelasmaDiscoloration of stretch marksChemical Peels The third way to stimulate collagen is by going to a medical spa or dermatologist to get a chemical peel service done. Chemical peels are used to exfoliate the skin and they greatly differ in strength and you often have to work your way up to stronger peels by first undergoing basic strength peels to build up a tolerance. More on chemical peels can be found in my article Microdermabrasion, peels, LED’s oh my!
Before undergoing any treatment please consult with your medical physician, preferably a dermatologist as they are more knowledgeable in how certain procedures can effect our bodies. It is important to do this because many anti-aging treatments and products come with contraindications.
Disclaimer:I am not a dermatologist. I am a friendly and knowledgeable beauty obsessed consumer. Please refer all questions you have to your physicians.
leaving A little Sparkle Into today's world!
Blessing with love and light!
Winter 2023 Publications!
2023 February Etiquette Publications
Let’s Celebrate Valentine’s Day With A Little History and Culture!
Ever wondered how we got Valentine’s Day? Who is the mysterious Saint Valentine? Why is Valentine’s Day on February 14th? How does different countries celebrate it? Well, let’s explore some of the origins and traditions of Valentine’s Day. Shall we begin….
St. Valentine’s Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, how is Saint Valentine, associated with this ancient rite? The Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret.When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. There was also Saint Valentine of Terni, a bishop, who was the true namesake of the holiday. He, too, was beheaded by Claudius II outside Rome.
There was a legend that suggested Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons, where they were often beaten and tortured. According to the legend, an imprisoned Valentine actually sent the first “Valentine” greeting himself after he fell in love with a young girl (possibly his jailor’s daughter) who visited him during his confinement.
Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter signed “From your Valentine,” an expression that is still in used today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories all emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and most importantly, a romantic figure.
Pope Gelasius I decided to replace Lupercalia (a Roman Festival) with the Feast of the Purification. He changed the date from February 15th to February 14th and named the day in honor of St. Valentine, the patron saint of lovers, people with epilepsy, and beekeepers.
By the Middle Ages, Valentine would become one of the most popular saints in England and France. It also became common in those countries to celebrate Valentine’s Day on February 14th, especially during the beginning of bird’s mating season.
Valentine’s day is celebrated worldwide regardless of its origins. Many countries celebrate this holiday in many unique customs and styles around the world…
Italy: Popular Day for CouplesOriginally, Italians celebrated Valentine’s Day as their spring festival. Another Italian Valentine’s Day tradition was for young, unmarried couples to wake up before dawn to spot their future husband. Today, Italians celebrate by exchanging gifts between lovers and romantic dinners.
Argentina: A Week of SweetnessArgentinians don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day in February, but “The Week of Sweetness” in July. It’s the day when lovers exchange kisses and receive chocolates and other sweets. In the country, the day actually started as a commercial invention but later became Valentine’s traditions.
France: Epicenter of RomanceIt is believed that the first-ever Valentine’s Day card was originated in France, when Charles, the Duke of Orleans, sent love letters to his wife from the prison in 1415. And the French village called “Valentine” turns into the epicenter of romance between 12th and 14th February. One can see the beautiful yards, trees, and homes decorated with love cards, roses, and proposals for marriage flakes. It probably is the most beautiful Valentine’s Day traditions in the world.
South Korea: A Unique Set of ExperienceThe romantic couples in South Korea celebrate the day of love on the 14th of each month. Yes, you read it right! “The Day of Roses” is celebrated in May. “The day of Kisses” is celebrated in June. “The day of Hugs” in December.” Also, single people celebrate “The Black Day” in April by eating black noodles.
Ghana: National Chocolate DayIn Ghana, February 14th is celebrated as the “National Chocolate Day.” It is a step that the Ghana government took in 2007 to increase tourism in the country. Ghana is among the largest cocoa-producing countries in the world. On February 14th, one can attend performances, music events, and restaurants that have themed menus for the special day.
Denmark: A Celebration of LoveAlthough Valentine’s Day is one of the new Denmark festivals, the country also celebrates the day of love and romance on February 14th with a twist. In Denmark, Valentine’s Day is not limited to roses and chocolates. Friends and lovers exchange handmade cards with pressed white flowers that are called snowdrops.
Bulgaria: Day of WinemakersBulgaria celebrates Valentine’s Day in its own style. On February 14th, San Trifon Zartan is celebrated in Bulgaria, which means “Day of Winemakers.” Young and old couples celebrate their love with a glass of wonderful local wine.
Brazil: Lovers Day“Dia dos Namorados” festival, which is also known as “Lovers Day,” is celebrated in Brazil. There’s an usual exchange of chocolates, cards, flowers, and one can witness music festivals and dance performances. Gifting is not reserved for couples during the festival, family dinners are common on the day.
With Valentine’s Day around the corner, it’s good to enrich ourselves with a little history and culture, especially in knowing that the world celebrates it with such diversity and much love.
Diverse Ways To Celebrate Valentine’s Day With Everyone!
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Whether you are spending the day with a special someone or getting together with friends, here are some ways that you can do on a day that’s set aside for love with anyone....
A Day for Friends: Valentine’s Day is traditionally a way to celebrate the romance in your life, but it’s also a good way to show friends how much you value them. With some friends, you might give a card to say, “Happy Valentine’s Day,” while with others you might go out to a restaurant, a movie, a dance, or a play.
Express with Roses: Nothing wrong with giving a bouquet of red roses that said, "I love you." However, try to express your words with different color roses, such as, pink, orange, and yellow roses, which are viewed as admiration, excitement, and friendship respectively.
Spend Quality Time with Loved Ones: Make time for what’s important and spend quality time with your loved ones. The easiest way to spend quality time with loved ones is to involve them in your day. Go out to a nice restaurant or create a special dinner. Try to avoid distractions, such as surfing the internet, chatting on the phone, or deciding to do other things by yourself or with another group of people.
Sweets for Everyone: Chocolate is the super star to Valentine’s Day. If you are getting something for a parent, a friend, or a significant other, get a small box of chocolates or even better those sugary hearts with the little sayings on them. If you wish, you can bake a chocolate recipe and bring it to someone as a surprise on Valentine’s Day.
Make a Custom Card for Someone: The card will have more meaning to it if it’s created by you instead of buying a card from a store. Use your own words to describe the person you’re giving it to. Create a poem or a note of appreciation. This will not only show your appreciation but will also be cherished by them for a long time.
For this year, nothing wrong with discovering new diverse ways to enjoy Valentine’s Day. It is about getting a little creative and staying optimistic to enjoy some quality time with those you love. Blessings!
Simple Ways To Strengthen Your Marriage, Partnership, or Relationship!
Ever wonder what simple ways can strengthen your marriage, partnership, or relationship? In life, you always need checks and balances, especially during a maintenance phase with your significant other. It always good to make the time to improve on things that matter. Also, this is called strengthening your foundation. Having a foundation build on love, respect, honesty, and trust is the bridge that makes any connection stronger and lasting. However, it "takes two to tango.” Let’s explore this concept more…. Improving on Communication: It’s easy to get distracted these days. You might find that you often go days without having a real conversation with your significant other. Communicating openly about your life, interests, dreams, frustrations, and feelings is an important way to foster intimacy in a relationship.
It’s also important that you listen to your significant other voice his/her thoughts. It can be helpful to set aside 30 minutes each day, especially away from distractions. Plus, practice makes perfect when it comes to learning how to listen and communicate your thoughts in a healthy manner. It’s a two-way street if you think about it.
Honor and Respect: Understanding, appreciating, and respecting is critical for any relationship. Start by making a list of your significant other’s best qualities to remind yourself of the wonderful person you have in life. This exercise will help you remember why you fell in love with the person in the first place.
Quality of Time and Space: One of the hardest things to balance in any connection is the right amount of time to spend together. Too much can feel like smothering while too little can be interpreted as inattentive. The key is to try to spend quality time together while also allowing each other the space to have the free time to be your own individual selves outside of a relationship.
Practicing Forgiveness: It’s not healthy to hold grudges (of any kind), especially when it can self-sabotage a relationship. Try to forgive your significant other as quickly as possible. Remember that forgiveness is just as much a gift you give to yourself. Holding a grudge takes up mental and emotional space and always impacts your health and stress levels. It is important to have boundaries in placed to express your feelings while practicing the art of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is also a two-way street. If you have wronged your significant other, sincerely apologize and ask for his/her forgiveness. Learn to listen to what your significant other has to say and try to understand why he/she is upset. Come to a compromise to work on things together. One step at a time. Again, it starts with forgiveness.
Most Importantly, Never Control Your Relationship: Don't try to monitor or control each other. Again, give your significant other the room to be the person he/she is in life. Let your significant other have the freedom to come and go without having to ask for permission. It is not healthy for a person to walk on eggshells around you (it goes both ways).
At the end, it "takes two to tango” when it comes to improving a foundation in a marriage, partnership, or relationship. It just takes a little effort to find simple ways to strengthen your love, respect, honesty, and trust with your significant other. It's all about growing a stronger connection that will last for a lifetime. Blessings!
2023 March Etiquette Publications Dedicated to Women's History Month
HISTORICAL FACTS ON INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY & WOMEN'S RIGHTS!!!
On March 8, 2023, it will be International Women’s Day. It is a day where people have celebrated over a 100 years of how women fought for their rights and recognitions worldwide. The history is bold, radical, and fearless, and presently, women still continue to fight for their existence, especially in today's modern world. Ready for a little history lesson? You can find this timeline on internationalwomensday.com. Shall we begin this conversation....
1908 - Great unrest and critical debate was occurring amongst women. Women's oppression and inequality was spurring women to become more vocal and active in campaigning for change. Then in 1908, 15,000 women marched through New York City demanding shorter hours, better pay and voting rights.
February 28, 1909 - Originally, the idea of International Women’s Day was inspired by America’s National Women’s Day. It was declared by the Socialist Party of America. Historically, it was proposed by Theresa Malkiel and based on the urban legend commemorating a protest by women garment workers in New York City, on March 8, 1857.
March 19, 1911 - This influence continued to grow into Europe when it was officially marked and celebrated for the first time by one million people in Austria, Denmark, Germany, and Switzerland. The day gave women’s voices an opportunity to be heard for the right to vote, to fight against sex discrimination in the workplace, and to hold public office.
1913 - International Women’s Day continued to be recognized in Russia for the first time. It catapulted to become part of what led to the Russian Revolution in 1917. At that time, in St. Petersburg, women went on strike for “Bread and Peace” demanding the end to World War I, Czarism, and the shortage of food in Russia. It also resulted in Russian women being given the right to vote, and International Women’s Day was declared a non-working holiday. 1922 - Interesting enough, communist countries and organizations initially supported and celebrated International Women’s Day. The influence reached other countries where the demand for women’s rights continued to grow, gain, support, and shine light on the poor conditions under which too many women continued to live.
1949 - In China, March 8th was later declared an office “half-day of work” for women.
1967 - Women’s rights were taken up by the next generation of feminists who called for equal pay, equal economic opportunity, equal legal rights, reproductive rights, subsidized childcare, and the prevention of violence against women.
1975 - The United Nations began celebrating International Women’s Day and declared “International Women’s Year”.
1977 - The United Nations invited members to proclaim March 8th as the UN Day for Women’s Rights and World Peace. Afterwards, International Women’s Day continues to be celebrated worldwide on March 8th.
1996 - The UN announced their first annual theme "Celebrating the past, Planning for the Future" which was followed in 1997 with "Women at the Peace table," in 1998 with "Women and Human Rights," in 1999 with "World Free of Violence Against Women", and so on each year until the current.
2001 - The website called the internationalwomensday.com (IWD) platform was launched with the specific purpose of re-energizing the day and inviting mass participation a focus which continues to this day by celebrating and making visible the achievements of women, while continuing the call for accelerating gender parity.
The IWD website, which provides useful guidance and resources, adopts an annual campaign theme that is globally relevant for groups and organizations.
2011 - 2011 saw the 100 year centenary of International Women's Day. The first IWD event was held exactly 100 years ago in 1911 in Austria, Denmark, Germany, and Switzerland.
In the United States, President Barack Obama proclaimed March 2011 to be "Women's History Month", calling Americans to mark IWD by reflecting on "the extraordinary accomplishments of women" in shaping the country's history.
2023 and beyond - The world has witnessed a significant change and attitudinal shift in both women's and society's thoughts about women's equality and emancipation. Many from a younger generation may feel that 'all the battles have been won for women' while many feminists from the 1970's know only too well the longevity and ingrained complexity of patriarchy.
Also, IWD is an official holiday in many countries including Afghanistan, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Burkina Faso, Cambodia, China (for women only), Cuba, Georgia, Guinea-Bissau, Eritrea, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Laos, Madagascar (for women only), Moldova, Mongolia, Montenegro, Nepal (for women only), Russia, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, Uganda, Ukraine, Uzbekistan, Vietnam, and Zambia.
The tradition sees men honoring their mothers, wives, girlfriends, colleagues, etc. with flowers and small gifts. In some countries, IWD has the equivalent status of Mother's Day, where children give small presents to their mothers and grandmothers.
On an important note, let’s talk about how women got the right to vote in the United States, and how that influence affected women’s rights worldwide. Here’s the timeline of events….
1848 - The first convention for women’s rights:
What started out as an idea over tea to hold a two-day meeting to discuss women’s rights turned into a convention attended by hundreds in Seneca Falls, New York. In total, 300 people attended the convention where 68 women and 32 men signed a “Declaration of Sentiments,” making the first formal demand in the U.S. for women to have the right to vote. However, this convention did not address the racism and oppression specifically faced by Black women.
1850 - The first National Woman’s Rights Convention:
Two years after the Seneca Falls Convention, more than 1,000 people, including abolitionists Lucy Stone, Lucretia Mott, and Abby Kelley attended a national conference in Worcester, Massachusetts to strategize ways to strengthen women’s rights. These annual conferences continued almost every year through 1860.
1866 - Suffragists send petition to Congress:
Suffragists garnered 10,000 signatures on a petition they prepared to send to Congress, requesting an amendment prohibiting disenfranchisement on the basis of sex. “We call your attention to the fact that we represent fifteen million people, one half the entire population of the country intelligent, virtuous, native-born American citizens; and yet stand outside the pale of political recognition,” the petition read.
1869 - The suffragists split:
Three years later, suffragists split into two separate organizations: the National Woman Suffrage Association and the American Woman Suffrage Association. The former focused on achieving voting rights through a constitutional amendment while the latter approached voting rights state-by-state. Splits were also fueled by disagreements regarding voting rights for minorities. The American Woman Suffrage Association endorsed the Fifteenth Amendment, which prohibited voter denial because of race. Members included Black men and women. 1872 - Susan B. Anthony votes anyway and is arrested:
In November of 1872, Susan B. Anthony, alongside 14 other women, casted a ballot and was arrested in New York. She eventually was tried and convicted for voting illegally, resulting in a $100 fine, which she later refused to pay.
1896 - The National Association of Colored Women is formed:
The group’s mission was to achieve equality for women of color. At the time, the National Association of Colored Women was hailed as the era’s largest organization of Black women. The group played an active role in decrying racial stereotypes projected onto Black women and was a pivotal advocate for change in the women’s suffrage movement.
1909 - The Woman Suffrage Party is founded:
The Woman Suffrage Party, a New York-based political group that centered around women’s voting rights, was founded in 1909. It served as a gateway for women to become more actively involved in politics. In its mission statement, the organization described its goal as to “secure the submission of a woman suffrage amendment to the State Constitution and its adoption at the polls.”
1910 - Suffrage parades begin:
The first women’s suffrage parade took place in New York City in the year of 1910. Within three years, the parade garnered around 10,000 participants along with hundreds of thousands of onlookers down Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington, D.C.
1913 - The Alpha Suffrage Club of Chicago is formed:
Pioneering Black journalist and anti-lynching advocate Ida B. Wells established the Alpha Suffrage Club of Chicago to advocate for voting rights for Black women. The club helped secure the election of Chicago’s first Black alderman, Oscar DePriest.
1919 - The Nineteenth Amendment is signed into law:
After making it through the House and Senate — the latter by only two votes — the Nineteenth Amendment, granting women the right to vote, was sent to states for ratification. Months later, it was signed into law.
1920 - White women are able to vote:
White women were granted the right to vote in 1920 after the implementation of the Nineteenth Amendment. However, the restrictions that kept non-white men from voting ultimately carried over to non-white women. It would stay this way for years.
1924 - Native American women earn the right to vote:
Through the Indian Citizenship Act, Native Americans, including Native American women were technically granted citizenship and the right to vote. But individual states still blocked Indigenous residents from voting for many years through a combination of poll taxes, literacy tests, fraud, and intimidation.
1943 - Chinese women are able to vote:
Via the Magnuson Act, Chinese immigrants, including women were given the right to citizenship and in turn, the right to vote in 1943. Like other minority women, they faced steep barriers to actually being able to cast ballots.
1962 - New Mexico becomes the last state to officially grant the franchise to Native Americans:
The New Mexico Constitution held that Indigenous people “not taxed” could not vote because they didn’t pay property taxes on their land. The problematic provision disenfranchised many and, after gaining attention nationally and from the President’s Committee on Civil Rights, was finally overturned in 1962.
1965 - Black and Latinx women are able to vote:
In 1965, President Lyndon Johnson signed the Voting Rights Act into law, prohibiting voting discrimination based on “race, color, or national origin.” After enduring the repression of Jim Crow laws for years, Black men and women were finally granted the right to vote, but voter discrimination against and disenfranchisement of Black and Latinx communities continues in earnest to this day.
1975 - The Voting Rights Act is amended to protect “language minority citizens:”
The landmark legislation was amended to include protections for Americans who had a “history of exclusion from the political process” because of the primary languages they spoke, including Native Americans and immigrants from Latin America and Asia.
1984 - The Voting Accessibility for the Elderly and Handicapped Act Law is passed:
To improve access for older voters and voters with disabilities, Congress passed a law requiring that polling sites for federally funded elections must be physically accessible for those experiencing any type of temporary or permanent disability. The law also required the provision of voting aids, such as printing ballot instructions in large font.
Present Day - The fight for voter access continues:
Across the country, politicians and activists alike continue to fight against harmful voter suppression tactics, such as voter ID laws, limited polling places resulting in long lines, and gerrymandering. These issues disproportionately affect Black voters and other people of color, and also make it difficult for young people to vote. Within the last few years, there have been more than 30 bills signed into law that create voting obstacles for people, making the fight for voter access more important than ever.
Globally, when it comes to women’s rights and our place in the world, we must continue to stand strong and empower each other to keep pioneering through today’s challenges. From the older generations to the younger generations, we must rise and evolve with continued strength, hope, peace, faith, and most importantly, believing in ourselves.
Amanda Gorman said it so perfectly, “Hear me as a woman./Have me as your sister./On purpled battlefield breaking day,/So I might say our victory is just beginning,/See me as change,/Say I am movement,/That I am the year,/and I am the era/of the women.”
Then there is G.D. Anderson, "Feminism isn't about making women stronger. Women are already strong; it's about changing the way the world perceives that strength."
Malala Yousafzai declared, “I raise up my voice—not so that I can shout, but so that those without a voice can be heard. … We cannot all succeed when half of us are held back.”
God bless, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, “Women belong in all places where decisions are being made. … It shouldn't be that women are the exception.”
Finally, Maya Angelou reminds us that, "I am a woman / Phenomenally/ Phenomenal woman / That's me."
OBSERVING NATIONAL WOMEN'S HISTORY MONTH!
In the United States, March is recognized as National Women’s History Month. Also, on March 8, 2023, it's International Women’s Day.
As women, we have come a long way, but there is still more work to be done to have a stronger co-existence with everyone in today’s world. To live as a whole race (humanity altogether), we need harmony.
I say, “Our past is our anchor and teacher, our present is our motivator and liberator, and our future will be our victor and greatest witness for living in a brighter world.” So, let us get started with different ways to learn and observe National Women’s History Month.
Studying up on women’s history: Look for museums that have women’s exhibits, which are dedicated on accomplishments of women. Also, you can research for other venues that celebrate and provide history on National Women’s History Month.
Take the time to research on your favorite women that you are drawn, too, and can learn from their achievements. For instance, it can be Michelle Obama, Mother Theresa, Tina Turner, Jackie Kennedy, Helen Keller, Princess Diana, Oprah, Madeleine Albright, Anne Richards, Karen Carpenter, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Elaine Chao, Aretha Franklin, Sonia Sotomayor, Condoleezza Rice, Sarah Palin, Janet Reno, Mary McLeod Bethune, Gloria Estefan, Victoria Woodhull, and many more.
Get creative and write: Think of a woman that you admire. She can be someone personal and a public figure. Take the time to write a letter describing her impact that she had in your life and send it to her. A thoughtful gesture is a heartfelt and powerful statement of love, which would be highly appreciated and remembered.
Get together for a girls’ day: Grab your family members or your besties (whoever is important to you) to join you on a wonderful girls’ day out. Maybe catch up for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, but wait maybe do a high tea gathering or just a spa day. Take the time to reconnect and embrace the moment of being in each other’s presence, while sharing interesting stories and learning something that you never knew before. One-on-one time with ladies that you love is an honor and great memory to create.
The importance of having National Women’s History Month is the backbone to help us remember the past endeavors of how women fought for our rights and opportunities to be equal. Currently, women are still fighting on many levels to create a better world for us.
Also, women need to be given credit for the important discoveries and conquests that were made in history. Men wrote many historical documents for centuries. There is so much history to be discovered that showed how women played many roles throughout time.
What is fascinating is that women of history stood up for their rights and fought what they believed in. Women have the motivation to come together and become a force of nature to move mountains. Therefore, you hear the saying that women are “the backbone of society.”
With National Women’s History Month, let us take the opportunity to put a spotlight on all the wonderful things that women accomplished every day. From working full-time jobs, being mothers, pursuing education and our dreams, owning businesses, making important discoveries and advancements in religion, science, art, and writing etc., along with caring for the elderly, fighting wars, and governing countries, we all can say that women play a major part of being the backbones of bringing peace and balance back into this world.
Amen to being a woman, we all have something to celebrate and honor within ourselves. CHEERS TO US.
This information came from a March 8, 2021 publication which was posted on The Inspiring Peacock Post.
PEARLS OF MY MOTHER'S WISDOM: Dedicated to my Mother, Florence M. Cropper
When I was growing up, my mother told me about, “Silence Is Golden.” If you speak your piece, people will know what you said, when you said it, and why you said it. People will judge you by your words and what you said. Instead by being silent, you appear wiser and can always walk away. People can make their own conclusions. The ones that hold their tongues and listen instead of talking, always appears to be more intelligent. I have used this concept my entire life. Sometimes, I would regret not having said something, but most of the time, it turned out that, “Silence is Golden.”
This information came from a May 8, 2021 publication which was posted on The Inspiring Peacock Post.
ELIZABETH BLACKWELL: A WOMAN WHO WOULDN'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!
I want to talk to you about a woman that helped change the medical profession from University to being a practicing physician. A woman who was on a different path and did not even want to read a medical book but discovered a passion and ran with it.
Elizabeth Blackwell was the first woman to receive a medical degree in America. She moved from Bristol England with her family in 1832. She first became a teacher, as it was the most respected career for women. She turned to medicine after hearing from her dying friend that her suffering would have been less, if the physician were female. As a woman, I can relate with how her friend felt at the time. She became intrigued about medicine and asked many physicians if it was a good idea to go into medicine.
They all agreed that it would be, but also impossible. She said that “If it’s a good idea, then it is possible.” So, she decided to pursue medical studies. She applied to countless medical universities, and even got accepted into Geneva College as a joke, but that did not stop her from attending. She was ridiculed, separated from important lab work, but graduated first in her class.
She went back to Europe to continue training in London and Paris hospitals. She started to emphasize the importance of hygiene, as she noticed the doctors she worked under, did not wash their hands in between patients. Eventually, she returned to New York. She applied for a job as a physician in the Women’s Department of Large City Clinic but was rejected. From there she did not back down, and her passion pushed her forward.
She opened a clinic to treat poor women and later, she opened a New York infirmary with her sister, Dr. Emily Blackwell, to treat women and children. She not only wanted to help women and children who came from poverty, but she also wanted to create opportunities for women to practice and learn, who wanted to be physicians.
This information came from a March 8, 2021 publication which was posted on The Inspiring Peacock Post.
THE DIVINE FEMININE ENERGY WITHIN OUR SPIRITS-PART 1: IDENTIFYING
Hello Ladies! Guess what, it is National Women’s History Month. All of March will be honoring the history of women’s accomplishments for equality and continue to fight in improving the future for the younger generations of girls. Still, so much work to be done!
Today, I am going to talk about the concept of Divine Feminine Energy. We, as women, all have masculine and feminine energy within all of us. However, in today’s world, we seem to always suppress the feminine energy of our spirits. There is a need to have a balance of both masculine and feminine energy together to co-exist. This co-existence is called duality. You cannot have one without the other.
Feminine energy comes from your heart or the gut. That is why you say, “Listen to your gut.” The energy makes it an interpersonal connection. It connects with empathy, sensuality, and receptivity. It also called your intuition.
Intuition embodies the feminine energy. It leads to the path of the most emotionally fulfilling side to us. It fosters strong, intimate, and nurturing bonds with people. Plus, it connects us to other living creatures, plants, and most importantly, Mother Earth.
Mother Earth has earned the title of being a living DIVINE FEMININE GODDESS. She is also called Gaia from Greek mythology.
Qualities of Divine Feminine Energy:• To be; not to do• Collaborative; not competitive• Flexibility; not strength• Internal energy; not external energy• Intuitive; not logical• Emotional driven; not purpose-driven• Create; being open
Now, I just went through the idea of what feminine energy is and how to identify it. It is an energy that has always been there, but social conditioning has caused us to have this amnesia of not tapping into our intuitive side naturally. It is like flexing a muscle with some practice. Practice makes perfect.
As women, when we embrace our feminine side more while competing in a very masculine world, it gives us that balance with being more confident within ourselves and making decisions with a softer flow of accuracy. That why women are considered “the backbone of society.”
Feminine energy is not weak in nature, but strong and compliments masculine energy within our spirits (men and women). It helps you fully inhabit your body to experience the present and feel a deeper connection to the universe.
As we celebrate women’s history in March, let us not forget the Divine Feminine Energy that resides in all of us. We, as women, are divine and need to give ourselves permission to be honor with peace, love, and respect. However, it starts individually from within. Intuitively, we know this.
We cannot be afraid to embrace the Divine Feminine because it connects us completely to our higher selves within the universe.
This information came from a March 5, 2021 publication from my first holistic website: serenegrace13.com.
THE DIVINE FEMININE ENERGY WITHIN OUR SPIRITS-PART 2: CONNECTING
Want to learn how to connect to the Divine Feminine Energy within your spirit? Let's begin this conversation with an open mind....
Connect with Movement: Feminine energy is an energetic, kinetic energy. Being a female, we have this kind of rhythm of knowing how to move our bodies. It helps us connect with our femininity.
Feminine energy is like the wind or the currents of the ocean. There is constant motion and things always keep evolving. To embrace the inner goddess from within, we can incorporate the following:
• Trying yoga.• Exercising or walking.• A form of dancing or movements that feels natural to you, just put on a piece of music that connects you to your emotions and close your eyes to start moving. Just be open-minded and just move with your spirit.
With our bodies, it has a certain way to response to the feminine energy. Just let yourself express with responsiveness, which you will be surprised of how you feel.
Connect with a Sacred Space: There are different ways in creating a sacred space to bring in clarity to connect with your feminine energy:
• Incorporating a form of meditation or prayer into your daily routine.• Doing deep breathing exercises.• Lighting a candle to bring in some visualization while taking a hot bath or having a quiet dinner with relaxing music.• Cleansing your space with Sage (smudge stick) or Palo Santo Stick.• Choose items in your space of living that resonate with you in a positive, spiritual way, such as, colors, plants, paintings, crystals, etc.
Connect with Self-Love: One of the most important lessons to feminine energy is having a healthy dose of self-love for yourself. (This applies to men and women.) With self-love, we must learn how to recognize our own self-worth and responding to unconditional love and value.
With that said, there is a balance of giving ourselves out emotionally to others and expecting others to recognize with respect in return of how to be treated right. With self-love, our feminine energy helps become a compass of practicing self-compassion and drawing healthy boundaries in our personal and professional relationships with others.
Also, it is good to say positive affirmations or prayers, which keeps your energy centered when dealing with life challenges. It is about a balance mindset.
Connect with Writing: Another way to connect with feminine energy is with different forms of writing:
• It can be happy, little letters to yourself as special reminders to stay focused or sending love notes to those that are dear to your heart.• Doing a form of journaling as a form of expressing your emotions and intuitions.• Writing articles on your own blog or other social media outlets that has an interesting concept that brings in connectedness with people.• Publishing your own poetry or books.• Creating your own music that has a creative edge in tapping into your soul.
Connect with Sexual Energy: Last, as women, we are told that we cannot be sexual or be ashamed of how we express ourselves with our bodies. Well, I hate to say it, but divine feminine energy is innately sensual. Women should never be ashamed of their bodies and how to move in seductive ways that are healthy to feel connect with sexual energy, especially within personal relationships.
In this world, women are suppressed as the inferior sex because we are female. However, that is a wrong perception. Throughout history, society has made women internalized that sexual energy is dirty. A lot of that conditioning is brought in when young girls are going up (depending on the culture or family structure) to be very mindful and held more accountable in how they express themselves with their bodies in private and in the public.
Overall, it is completely healthy to embrace sexual energy. In your sexual relationship with someone, you always tap into your feminine energy to show your partner what you want and need (which is acceptable), instead of always focusing to please. At the end, feminine energy brings in a balance of giving and receiving in personal relationships.
So, there you have it. The ways to connect to the Divine Feminine Energy with a better understanding. Never a dull moment! Just let the energy naturally flow, you would be surprised. Just surrender and release. The universe will unfold before your eyes. Blessings with peace and love!
This information came from a March 25, 2021 publication from my first holistic website: serenegrace13.com.
An Inspiring Author: Emily Post (Author of Etiquette)
Emily Post lived from 1872 – 1960. She was born in Baltimore, Maryland and died in New York. She was the American authority on social behavior where she crafted her advice by applying good sense and thoughtfulness to basic human interactions. She believed, "Whenever two people's lives come together and affect one another. You have etiquette. Etiquette is not some rigid code of manners; it's simply how people's lives touch one another."
Her life started in the age of the horse and buggy, witnessed the beginning and end of the prohibition of alcohol, lived through the Great Depression, and ended with peace, love, and a legacy. She was known as a prominent New York society woman in the early 1900s and was the daughter of the famed architect named Bruce Price.
Her legacy grew into becoming famous for her practical and humorous advice on etiquette. Emily Post was a very modern woman. She divorced her husband at a young age and used her writing skills to support herself as a single mother of two boys. She supported many causes and loved to live life to the fullest. Her experiences gave her the courage to step into her power to write more about etiquette when she was 50.
In 1922, Emily Post’s book, Etiquette, topped the nonfiction bestseller list. Later, the phrase “according to Emily Post” soon entered the American lexicon, as the last word on social conduct. Also, Etiquette ranked as the second book most likely to be stolen from public libraries, (the Bible ranking number one). Her book was 627 pages. Etiquette became more modernized with each edition (19 of them to date). Her focus and backbone were on consideration, respect, honesty, and practicality.
Before she died, Emily Post was liked by Americans as this elderly figure who made them laugh, gave people confidence, and enriched such a quality of consideration and awareness in etiquette that anyone from any background can be inspired.
Her legacy produced numerous books, a syndicated newspaper column, and a long running network radio program in Americans’ homes. At the end, she was a figure of national stature and importance throughout her life. Within her spirit, her mission was to make people’s lives more connected and create a bridge how people could relate better to each other in society.
In 1946, The Emily Post Institute was founded. Today, the institute is now run by the 5th generation of the Post family. Her family continues to carry on her legacy. At the Institute, there are a large collection of books ranging in topics from children and parenting, wedding, business, entertaining, and as well as online learning programs and in-person seminars. Plus, there is so much more.
She said, “Good manners reflect something from inside an innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self.” Overall, consideration and respect can go a long way. To learn more about the Emily Post Institute, please visit emilypost.com.
This information came from a December 22, 2020 publication which was posted on The Inspiring Peacock Post to honor Emily Post. Blessings to her.
My Mother’s Sacrifice for Her Children’s Future: Dedicated to my Mother, Cecilia Lina Pratt
Mothers all over this world make sacrifices for their children. My mother was no exception. She sacrificed a lot to give my brother and me a good life and prepare us for adulthood. My mother, Cecilia Lina Pratt (Lind) was born and raised in Germany during the Nazi period, and she experienced the horror of war firsthand.
Our hometown, Hanau near Frankfurt, was bombed day and night as it was a military town. In addition, when her mother died, she was abandoned by her family and put into a home for undesirables. At one point, my mother and a girlfriend ran away from the home and after about a week, seeing there was nowhere to go, they returned to the home.
As it turned out, the Nazis were killing their own people that they considered undesirable by driving them into the woods and into the back of a paneled truck. Once in the woods, they fed a hose from the exhaust to the back where the girls were and gassed them to death. On the day, my mother ran away, she and her girlfriend were scheduled to be gassed. God had another purpose for my mother. After the end of the war, my mother ended up working for the Americans in their mess hall to feed and take care of my brother and me. Unfortunately, her family still disrespected her, and my brother ended up in a foster home after the state took him away from her. I was fortunate as my mother was able to pay her family to take care of me.
My mother met my stepfather, Thomas Vasil Pratt in the mess hall. I do not call him my stepfather as he earned more respect than that for raising two boys that were not his own. My mother married him to give us a father, and I am very thankful for her motherly love to consider us and marrying my father. Furthermore, my mother worked extremely hard to get my brother out of that home and back with his family. My mother and my father were raised Catholic, but because the Catholic Church would not allow my mother to marry an American soldier, she and my father changed their religion to Protestant.
The German people were not too kind to her for marrying an American. In 1957, we moved to the United States, and the American people looked down on her for being German and marrying an American. She had to endure hate in both countries.
However, she endured and in 1959, she became a citizen of the United States of America. My mother had the foresight to have my father naturalize my brother and me, although our natural birth fathers were German. Also, my father gave his last name to us when we got adopted by him.
Throughout my childhood, she was always there when I needed her. Both my mother and father raised me to be a loving and responsible adult and father. At my mother’s side, I learned how to cook, clean, and face the world with hope and love.
Thank you, Mom from your loving and appreciative son who will always remember the good life that you made possible for my brother and me.
This information came from a May 8, 2021 publication which posted on The Inspiring Peacock Post.
Can’t Hold Us Down!!!
Ladies put your hands up if you are tired of everyone and everything going against you? The population of women to men in the world is roughly equal. Didn’t know that! Well, it is. Yet, we are still being told to do this and that, while being told not to do this and that.
It’s aggravating and demeaning. It’s just downright exhausting. What does it matter if we want to get pregnant, or not? It’s the woman’s body, so it’s her choice.
Men get to take their little blue pills. Why can’t we take our little pink or white ones, if we want too? NEWS FLASH!!! They help us in many other ways. Not everything goes as planned. In fact, most of the time it doesn’t for anyone but that’s how life goes, and plans change.
For those out there that think abortion is evil, let me challenge you by asking… why is a child who is yet to be born, more valuable than the life already existing? We grieve for children who have lost a parent, yet the majority want them to be born without one. That’s just mind boggling. To me that’s evil and unfair to the child, even if they do have a parent left to care for them.
We, women are tired of having all our choices made for us throughout our lives. We decide how to dress, what to eat, what to think, and most importantly, what we do with our bodies. “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it,” (Virginia Tech and Santayana, George). No saying could be truer for today but there’s a twist; we do remember, we just haven’t learned.
Women still get paid less than men, 83 cents for every dollar a man earns to be exact, but we are expected to pay more because of the pink tax. If you don’t know what that is, look it up.
Women must be strong, yet fragile, smart but not too smart, sexy but not promiscuous, homemakers and career women. For many people, all a man must be is a good worker, lover, and if a family is in the mix, a good father.
I seriously fear for the future, and hope we wake up before we time travel back to the fifties. Enough is enough, it’s time to stand up, and raise our voices because men can’t hold women down anymore!
History repeating. College of Liberal Arts and Human Sciences | Virginia Tech. (2019, January 8). Retrieved July 25, 2022.
This information came from a July 26, 2022 publication which was posted on The Inspiring Peacock Post.
Never had a moment of being discriminated based on your sex? Well, it is called sexism. Sexism is prejudice or discrimination against a person or group based on their sex or gender. It primarily affects women and girls, and it is the root cause of gender inequity worldwide.
Interesting enough, I was inspired to research this topic based on a recent event in my life where a person (won’t give a name out) tried to put me down for being a woman by using a discouraging attitude and treating me as though I had no intelligence. Intuitively, the energy exchange was too strong, which I couldn't ignore. Believe me, the situation was not pretty where it affected my income during a weekend. Long story, but a spark went off in me to counteract this form of behavior against me. Talk about flexing my feminine backbone!!! I hate to say I had to become a bitch to correct the situation, but I was more in the right to do so.
In today’s world, much of women’s rights and recognition are going backwards at a fast rate. Women need to wake up and smell the coffee. However, this publication is about understanding the different kinds of sexism that women could experience and learn how to recognize them.
Sexist acts include any that frame one sex or gender as inferior. Sexism can be conveyed in:• Behavior• Speech• Writing• Images• Gestures• Laws and policies• Practices and traditions
People categorize sexism in several ways. Sexism can be:• Hostile• Benevolent• Ambivalent
Sexism can operate on different levels in society. It can be:• Institutional• Interpersonal• Internalized
Hostile Sexism: This refers to beliefs and behaviors that are openly hostile toward a group of people based on their sex or gender. Misogyny, or the hatred of women, is an example of hostile sexism.People who hold views that are hostile, and sexist may view women as:• Manipulative• Deceitful• Capable of using seduction to control men.• Needing to be kept in their place.
These views may also apply to anyone with feminine traits and anyone who expresses their gender in a way that is associated with femininity.
People who perpetuate hostile sexism want to preserve men’s dominance over women and people of other marginalized genders. They typically oppose gender equality and may also oppose LGBTQIA+ rights, seeing these things as a threat to men and the systems that benefit them.
Examples of hostile sexism include:• Using sexist language or insults.• Making threatening or aggressive comments based on a person’s gender or sex.• Harassing or threatening someone for defying gender norms, online or offline.• Treating people as subordinates based on their sex or gender and punishing them when they “step out of line.”• Believing that some victims of sexual assault “ask for it” due to their behavior or clothing.• Engaging in physical or sexual assault.
Benevolent Sexism: It includes views and behaviors that frame women as:• Innocent• Pure• Caring and nurturing• Fragile and in need of protection• Beautiful
Some examples of benevolent sexism include:• Basing a woman’s value on her role as a mother, wife, or girlfriend.• Focusing attention and praise on someone’s appearance rather than their other attributes.• Believing that people should not do things for themselves, such as manage money or drive a car, because of their gender.• Assuming that a person is a nurse, assistant, or secretary — not a doctor, executive, or manager — based on their gender.• Supporting policies that make it difficult for women to work, have independence, or deviate from traditional gender roles.
Ambivalent Sexism: This is a combination of benevolent and hostile sexism. People who engage in ambivalent sexism may vary between seeing women as good, pure, and innocent and seeing them as manipulative or deceitful, depending on the situation.
Some examples of ambivalent sexism include:• Glorifying traditionally feminine behavior and demonizing “unladylike” behavior, in media coverage, for example.• Hiring someone because they are attractive, then firing them if they do not respond to sexual advances.• Differentiating between “good” women and “bad” women based on how they dress.
Institutional sexism: This refers to sexism that is entrenched in organizations and institutions, such as:• The government• The legal system• The education system• The healthcare system• Financial institutions• The media• Other workplaces
Interpersonal Sexism: This manifests during interactions with others. It can occur in the workplace, within relationships, among family members, and in interactions with strangers. Examples of interpersonal sexism include:• Telling someone to be more ladylike.• Judging someone for not fitting into stereotypes of femininity, such as by being caring or submissive.• Making inappropriate comments about someone’s appearance.• Talking down to someone based on assumptions about their gender.• Engaging in unwanted sexual attention or touching.• Justifying sexist behavior by saying “boys will be boys.”
Internalized Sexism: It refers to sexist beliefs that a person has about themselves. Usually, a person adopts these beliefs involuntarily because of exposure to sexist behavior or the opinions of others.
Internalized sexism may cause feelings of:• Incompetence• Self-doubt• Powerlessness• Shame
Some other examples of internalized sexism include:• Making self-deprecating jokes about one’s gender, such as “blonde jokes.”• Someone basing their self-worth on how desirable they are in the eyes of men.• Feeling ashamed of aspects of being female, such as having periods or female genitalia.• Feeling that it is essential to conform to gender ideals, even if this means harming oneself, through restrictive dieting, for example.
Importantly, it is crucial to understand how sexism manifests and then to challenge sexist attitudes and practices at all levels. Knowledge is the power to know the difference to stop sexism.
This information came from a July 26, 2022 publication which was posted on The Inspiring Peacock Post.
FEMALE POWER & AMERICAN POLITICS
Over the years, we have seen an increase in the number of women taking on important political roles. For so long, women have been lesser than a man in the workforce, particularly in government positions. Not anymore! In fact, President-Elected Joe Biden, has recently created a senior communications team comprised entirely of women. Fifty-seven (57) women have served on the Senate, and currently, twenty-five (25) women hold seats. To go along with this, there are one hundred and one (101) women in the House of Representatives as of November 6, 2020. They represent thirty-four (34) states.
What is the big deal about women having important political roles, you ask? Well, this allows women to rightfully have a voice on important topics such as domestic violence and inequality in the workforce, along with the ongoing controversial Roe vs. Wade and contraception.
I think that in the years to come we will see even more women come into politics, and government positions because of this new acceptance. I greatly support and hope for this!
This information came from a December 22, 2020 publication which was posted on The Inspiring Peacock Post.